The Social Sommelier
I'm sure it will shock absolutely no one reading this essay that I have spent some time educating myself about wine. I'm sure it will also shock absolutely no one that that little bit of education has given me the confidence to act like I know what I'm doing when I order wine at a restaurant, and that I am completely insufferable in the process.
Since the world is still only just starting to open back up, I haven't had as many opportunities to pair wine with food.
So, instead, here are some social situations and my picks for the wine that pairs best with them.
🍷Attending a friend of a friend's socially distanced birthday party in a park
The key to this situation is remembering that you're the one in charge.
Sure, maybe you felt like you had to attend because you haven't seen this acquaintance in a long time, but every time you did see each other before the pandemic you got along great (even if you've never really hung out alone just the two of you and honestly you don't think it would go that well if you did), and it's frankly really nice of them to want to include you, and also you could use the socialization practice.
Forget all that! You're out and hitting the town (the park) and you're ready to mingle (stay 6 feet apart and ask other vaccinated friends' permission to hug)!!
They asked YOU to be there and YOU get to decide how this interaction goes. YOU set the tone of how much fun you want to have, and your drink should reflect that. This is fun, this is kind of new, and this is in the bag, baby.
Josh's Pairing Pick: A $10-15 bottle of pink rosé purchased on the way to the park and transferred into a Yeti thermos. Make sure to enjoy the interplay between the summery vibes of the wine and the metallic notes of your reusable straw.
🍷Filing your taxes
Look at you, a certified financial expert. You found all of your forms and only had to call an authority figure (ex. CPA, parents) twice. That's a win in my books, baby!
You've also just done a lot of brain work and you deserve a break.
You need something sophisticated, but approachable. Something classic and familiar. Something conventional and easy to understand, but done with expert quality and craftsmanship. You've earned turning your brain off for a bit, but you're not about to sacrifice quality.
Josh's Pairing Pick: A California Pinot Noir or Cabernet Sauvignon. Like your finances, keep it domestic. If you had to pay capital gains taxes, upgrade to brandy or port.
🍷Someone you went on three dates with in 2017 just got engaged
Damn, dude—not what you were expecting on a casual mid-afternoon Instagram scroll break!
It never would have worked out and you haven't really thought about this person in years, but there's still a momentary twinge of what could have been. You're happy for them, sure, but there's a small part of you that can't help wondering about the alternate timeline where you overlooked their weird musical taste and they could be the one to initiate text conversations.
This complex emotional moment calls for a nuanced, multi-faceted wine that's going to get you thinking, but with a fresh taste that ultimately doesn't linger.
Josh's Pairing Pick: An orange skin-contact wine. Screw top is a must.
🍷A day where you keep having to change clothes because the weather is in-between warm and cold and everything you put on isn't quite right
We've all been there, right? I had one of these days last week!
The key with this moment is not overthinking it. You're already deep in the clothing rabbit hole. You need a wine that's going to come over to you, put a kind, yet firm hand on your shoulder and say, "Don't worry, I can take it from here."
Josh's Pairing Pick: Australian Shiraz. Sure, they're wearing khaki cargo shorts, but you know they actually use the pockets. Plus they're ripped and tan as fuck.
🍷Contemplating the inevitable heat death of the universe
You'd think that this would be an occasion for a wine as dark and robust as the immense concept of everything we experience being ephemeral. But you'd be wrong.
Just because the moment punches hard doesn't mean you need to punch back with the same amount of force! The wine doesn't always need match the weight of the moment, it can augment and lighten it!
Keep it light and bright, baby. Just because many of the stars we see in the sky are already dead doesn't mean that our wine can't shine just as bright.
Josh's Pairing Pick: Vinho Verde from Portugal. Great value, super drinkable. A porch pounder.
🍷Writing a weekly newsletter
Anything to get the funny juice flowing, you know what I'm saying???
Josh's Pairing Pick: Whatever's in reach.